Steve W. Reeves
stevereevesoutlines.blogspot.com
INTRODUCTION:
A.
The teaching of Jesus challenged the status quo of His day. He challenged
religious
leaders. He challenged long-held
traditions. He challenged popular thought. He never
backed down from telling the truth. Today,
the teaching of Jesus continues to
challenge us. Nowhere is this seen more
readily than in what Jesus says about
marriage.
B.
There is a proliferation of ideas today about marriage.
1. In 2015 the United States Supreme Court
in Obergefell v. Hodges, ruled in
favor of same-sex couples having a
constitutional right to marry citing the 14th
Amendment.
2. Earlier, in 2013 the court struck down
the Defense of Marriage act passed by
congress and signed into law by
President Clinton in 1996 which had specified that
marriage was between a man and a woman.
3. What we would call “traditional”
marriage has been under attack for decades
through rising divorce rates and a
dramatic increase in couples choosing to live
together without being legally married.
According to a report by on CNN on April 4,
2013
between 2006 and 2010, 48% of women between the ages of 15 and 44
moved in for the first time with a man
to whom they weren't married, according to a
report released by the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention's National
Center
for Health Statistics.
4. Everyone has an idea about marriage.
a J. Paul Getty – “would give my entire fortune
for a happy marriage.”
b. When the actress Gwenneth Paltrow
divorced her husband Chris Martin several
years ago, she did not refer to it
as a divorce but as a “conscious uncoupling.”
c. In our county more people take their
cues on marriage from Dr. Phil than they
do the Lord Jesus Christ.
C.
Jesus recognized the importance of marriage.
1. His first miracle was performed at a
marriage feast (John 2).
2. Revelation19 pictures Jesus as a
bridegroom and the church as his bride.
3. Thus, we need to ask, “What does Jesus
say about marriage?”
I. THE PLAN FOR MARRIAGE
A. According to Jennifer Baker of the
Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in
Springfield, Missouri, 50% percent
of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of
third marriages end in divorce.
B. Like us, Jesus lived in a time when
marriage was under siege.
1. There had been no divorces recorded
in the Roman Empire during its first 520
years. The first record of divorce
in the Roman Empire was in 234 B.C. By the first
century, however, divorce was
rampant. Seneca wrote, “Women are married to
be divorced and divorced to be
married.” He said that women would refer
to time
not by the date of the year but by
the husband to whom they were married.
Juvenile wrote of a woman who had
been married eight times in a five-year span.
2. Among the Jews there was controversy
about the reasons a man could divorce
his wife. Two prominent Rabbis had
vastly different opinions about the
interpretation of Deuteronomy 24
where Moses spoke of giving a wife a bill of
divorcement if he found disfavor
with her.
C. Whenever Jesus addressed the subject of
marriage He referred to God’s intent.
1. In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew
5:31-32), Jesus said, “Now it was said,
‘Whoever sends his wife away is to
give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say
to you that everyone who divorces
his wife, except for the reason of sexual
immorality, makes her commit
adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery.” (cf. Mark
10:11-12; Luke 16:18).
2. Why would Jesus make such a
statement? The answer is found in Matthew 19.
a. Beginning in verse 3 some
Pharisees came to Jesus testing Him by asking, “Is
it lawful for a man to divorce
his wife for any reason?” They knew the
controversy surrounding this
question. What would Jesus say?
b. Jesus went back to God’s
original plan. In verses 4-6 He said, “Have you not
read that He who
created them from the
beginning made them male and
female, 5 and
said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they
are
no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together, no
person is to separate.”
D. What did Jesus say about God’s plan for marriage?
1. It is God’s idea.
a. Notice two words in verse 4.
“made” and “said.” God made them male and
female and said…
b. Marriage is so much more than a
civil legality. It is a covenant ordained by
Almighty God.
2. It is for a man and a woman.
a. Jesus recognized God’s design
found in Genesis 1:27- 28, “So God created
man in His own image, in
the image of God He created him; male and female
He created them. 28 God
blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and
multiply, and fill the earth,
and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and
over the birds of the sky and
over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
b. You do not have to have an
advanced course in anatomy and physiology to
understand that the multiplying
and filling the earth requires male and female.
c. When Paul wrote to the church in
Rome he described the spiritual and moral
condition of pagans. Romans
1:26-27 says, “ For this reason God gave them
over to degrading
passions; for their women exchanged natural relations for
that which is contrary to
nature, 27 and likewise the men, too, abandoned
natural
relations with women and
burned in their desire toward one another, males with
males committing shameful
acts and receiving in their own persons the due
penalty of their error.”
d. Suppose a group of people got
together and protested the laws of physics.
Maybe they were tired of being
bound to earth by gravity and wanted to float
around freely. They might hold
rallies. They might scoff at those who believe in
the law of gravity. They might
even get congress to pass a bill saying, “we
outlaw gravity.” Everyone
should be free to decide if they want to walk or float.
You and I know how foolish this
would be. It is no less foolish to think you can
change God’s plan for marriage
than you can the laws of physics.
3. It is for keeps.
a. Neale Pryor told the story about
himself as a boy. He and a friend were playing
marbles and the friend said,
“Let’s play for keeps.” Neale said, “I didn’t know
what that meant but said ‘okay.’”
When the game was over Neale had lost and
the boy took all the marbles.
He said, “That’s when I learned what “keeps”
meant. He also said it was the
first time he lost all of his marbles.
b. Jesus said, “Therefore, what God
has joined together no person is to separate.”
II. THE PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE
A. Jesus recognized that marriage was the
first human relationship ever created.
Because of this it is the foundation of
society. There is nothing glamourous or glitzy
about foundations. When you build a
house, you do not go to a building supply and
spend hours looking at samples of
foundation material. You never hear anyone
compliment the digging of a footing or
the pouring of concrete. Most people never
give any thought to the foundation of
their house - unless something goes wrong in
which case the entire structure is
affected.
1. When families are torn apart it
brings personal and societal pain.
2. When marriage is destroyed it
weakens emotional roots. The giant redwood trees
in California are supported by intertwined
roots. When you weaken the roots, the
trees are susceptible to falling.
B. How much time and effort do we put into
strengthening marriages?
1. When Prince William and Kate
Middleton married it cost 40 million dollars. I am
amazed at how much we put into
weddings but invest nothing in preparation for
and strengthening of marriage.
2. If you choose to marry it will be
the biggest investment you will ever make in your
life. It will have a greater impact
on the quality of your life than anything you do.
C. The apostle Paul wrote that the
relationship between Christ and the church provides
the standard for the relationship between
husbands and wives. In Ephesians 5:22-
25
he wrote, “Wives, subject
yourselves to your own husbands, as to the
Lord. 23 For the
husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the
church, He Himself being the Savior of the
body. 24 But as the church is subject to
Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in
everything. 25 Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
D.
According to Jesus, marriage, like everything else in your life, should seek
first the
kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33). Your marriage
is not for your personal sensual
gratification.
It is not for excitement and pizzazz (although these things are not
wrong). First and foremost, it is to glorify
God and to help the person to whom you
are married to go to heaven.
1. When the nation of Israel was
preparing to enter Canaan, God gave them specific
instructions about not marrying the
people of the land. Why? They were pagans
who would turn the hearts of the
people away from God.
2. What happened when Solomon married
foreign women in 1 Kings 11? They
turned his heart away from God resulting
in Israel being torn apart.
3. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul answered
several questions the Corinthians had about
marriage. His answer was, “your
marriage is to honor God.”
a. Concerning widows he said they
had the right to remarry but only “in the Lord”
(vs.39).
b. In 1 Corinthians 9:5, Paul said
he had a right to marry “a sister” (believer).
c. In 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 Paul
wrote, “Do not be mismatched with unbelievers;
for what do righteousness and
lawlessness share together, or what does light
have in common with
darkness? 15 Or what harmony does Christ have
with Belial, or what
does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 Or what
agreement does the temple
of God have with idols?”
1.) I was preaching in a
meeting in Oklahoma and mentioned this verse. An
older
gentleman came to me after the sermon and said, “I am glad my wife
didn’t
hear you before she married me. I wasn’t a Christian but she
converted me.” I am
thankful she did.
2.) Jimmy Allen once said that
in his experience, for every instance in which
the
believer converted the non-believer, he could name four where they did
not and
a substantial number in which the Christian became unfaithful.
3.) Note: At this point I might
add that for those married to non-believers the
greatest
testimony you can offer to your spouse is that of your personal
faithfulness
to Christ.
III. THE PERMANENCE
A. In each of the passages we have
considered from the gospels, Jesus said the same
thing about the permanence of the marriage
relationship. He said that the only
permissible reason a person might be
divorced and remarried is the sexual infidelity.
1. The word Jesus used in Matthew 19:9
is “porneia” meaning “sexual immorality.”
2. Jesus recognized the trust and intim
`ate bond of the sexual union in the
marriage of a husband and wife. He
understood the seriousness of breaking that
trust.
B. When you say “I do” you are making a
life-long commitment. A marriage license is
not like a driver’s license, a hunting
license or a fishing license that must occasionally
be renewed. It is a lifelong
commitment. Do not say “I do” without understanding the
weight of your words.
CONCLUSION:
A. I
began my first full time preaching ministry when I was twenty-one years old and
had
been married for five months. In the
interview I was asked only two questions. “How
much money do you need,” and “What is your
view on marriage, divorce and
remarriage?” In answer to the first
question I said, “whatever you give me,” and in
answer to the second I said, “I believe
what Jesus said.” They hired me.
1. Forty years have come and gone.
2. If I were asked those same questions
today I would respond in the same way,
particularly to the second. “I believe
what Jesus said about marriage, divorce and
remarriage.”
a. I am not interested in finding a
loop-hole or seeking to water-down the seriousness
of the Lord’s teaching.
b. Another thing these forty years have
taught me is to have great appreciation for
God’s grace and forgiveness
regardless of our past if we are willing to repent and
come to Him.
B.
Will you listen to what Jesus says about marriage? Will you put Him first in
your
marriage? For you who are contemplating
marriage will you make a commitment that
your marriage will be based upon the Word
of God?
C.
Come to Christ today!
