Sermon
Notes, February 3, 2019 PM
When Your
Child Goes Astray
Steve W.
Reeves
INTRODUCTION:
A.
There is great joy in being a parent. There can also be great heartache. A
parent’s greatest fear and most hurtful reality is that their child may go astray. When a child
who has been raised in a Christian home, taught Godly values and received good
influence turns away from those things it creates a very painful season of life.
B. It may surprise you to realize that some of the most faithful people in the Bible had
children who were not faithful to God.
1. In 1 Samuel 2 we read about the sons of Eli the High Priest. Even though Eli was
faithful in his service to God his two sons Hophni and Phineas turned out to be
very corrupt men who cheated the people and engaged in immoral behavior.
2. David, a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22) suffered terrible tragedy among
his children. His son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13). Later in
the same chapter David’s son Absolom had Amnon killed. Absolom and David
became estranged. 2 Samuel 14:28 says that Absolom lived in Jerusalem two
years but did not see the king’s face. In 2 Samuel 15 Absolom led a revolt against
his father. According to 2 Samuel 15:6 he, “stole away the hearts of the men of
Israel.” He was finally killed by David’s commander, Joab, in 2 Samuel 18. One of
the saddest scenes in the Bible is pictured in 2 Samuel 19:4 where David cried, “O
my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
C. This message is applicable to all of us. Even if you are not a parent or not married
you know a parent who has a wayward child. Some of you have children or
grandchildren who have gone astray.
1. Every Christian wants their child to be a faithful Christian. To make healthy choices
and grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).
2. Unfortunately, not all adult children make the choices we want them to make.
D. My message to you is outlined with a series of “don’ts” and “do’s.”
I. DO NOT
A. Beat yourself up.
1. The first thing many parents want to do is blame themselves by saying, “I must
not have done a good job.”
2. Many parents struggle with Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should
go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
a. A Proverb is a general observation of life.
b. Solomon, author of many proverbs, turned away from the Lord as an adult.
This was not the fault of his father David. Just as Solomon had earlier made
the choice to seek God’s wisdom (1 Kings 3:9), he made a choice to turn after
idolatrous gods in 1 Kings 11:6 scripture says, “Solomon did what was evil in
the sight of the Lord, and did not follow the Lord fully, as David his father had
done.”
3. There are many factors that influence a person.
a. Friends and peers. My father was not a Christian and did not teach me to
walk in the ways of the Lord. Spiritual training was left to my mother. As a
teenage boy I was influenced by friends and peers. As a college student I was
influenced by Christian teachers. Unfortunately the opposite is sometimes
true. I read an article by a man in North Carolina who had a daughter raised
in a Christian home. She went away to a state university and within several
months said she was an atheist because her teachers had convinced her God
was a myth.
b. All parents can look back and see areas where we could have done things
differently and better. We have greater experience now than we did then (See
Philippians 3:12-14 and Ephesians 5:15). If you have sought to bring your
child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord you have done what God
commands.
B. Blame
1. When things go wrong we want to assess and place blame.
a. When a person goes astray spiritually who is to blame? People engage in all
types of speculation. Perhaps it was a Sunday school teacher or a preacher?
Maybe it was the youth minister? Maybe it was the “hypocrites” in the church.
b. If we are going to blame others for a person’s wrong choices we must credit
others for people’s good choices. How would we explain people who have
grown up in exceedingly negative influences who have made very good
choices?
2. The basic reality is that we are responsible as individuals for the choices we
make.
C. Burn Bridges
1. When a child goes against our will it is easy to become angry with them.
a. Sometimes there can be an exchange of harsh words that only leads to
further separation, alienation and distrust.
b. A parent may withhold affection or communication from a wayward child
leading to further heartache.
2. We need to follow the admonition of God’s word.
a. Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up
anger.”
b. Proverbs 19:11 – “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his
glory to overlook a transgression.”
c. Ephesians 4:26 – “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on
your anger.”
D. Boost
1. We must not be an enabler.
2. A good friend of mine had a son who was arrested several times for DUI. After
the first offense he told him. I am bailing you out once. After this, if you get in
trouble, you are on your own. When the son called from the police station the
second time the father said, “I will not come get you.” It was a hard lesson but
the son got the message.
3. The father in Luke 15 waited for his son to learn the lesson of hardship. When
he turned to come home the father welcomed him immediately but he did not
enable his sinful behavior.
E. Be silent.
1. When a child has gone astray we wonder if we should simply be silent and
never say anything.
2. If their house were on fire would you say something? You do not have to be
rude or overbearing but you cannot be silent.
II. WHAT CAN WE DO?
A. Entrust them to the Lord.
1. When Hannah asked God for a son she promised that her son would be
dedicated to the Lord. When he was still a child she took him to Eliat Shiloh.
a. In similar fashion we need to entrust our wayward children to the Lord.
b. Peter wrote, “Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1
Peter 5:7).
2. God loves your child more fervently than you do. He wants your child to come
back to Him.
B. Encourage.
1. We should never give up on our children regardless of their circumstances.
2. A word of encouragement at the right time can make a huge difference in a
person’s life.
C. Example
1. One of the most powerful forces in a child’s life is the example of their parents.
This is true even when our children are adults. You may think that they do not
notice but they do. If we are living a faithful life ourselves all of the pleading in
the world on our part will be to no avail. Show them how God is working in your
life.
2. An American soldier was going with his buddies for a “night out on the town full
of reckless behavior. He suddenly remembered a letter from his mother urging
him to “be good.” He thought of her faithfulness and care for him. Suddenly the
appeal of sin was not as sweet and the prospect of pleasure dimmed. He
changed the direction of his life.
D. Entreat – Pray
1. As a parent it is only natural to pray that our children might be blessed with
health and prosperity. We want to pray that they might be saved from heartache
and disappointment.
2. In what seasons of life do we learn to depend on God the most? Perhaps our
prayer for wayward children should be that God will use whatever means He
knows is best for that person to be drawn closer to Him.
3. One thing is for certain. We should pray without ceasing in behalf of our
children.
a. Pray that those who are faithful to God will continue to grow spiritually.
b. Pray that those who have gone astray might return.
4. Remember John’s admonition in 1 John 5:13-14 - “These things I have written to
you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you
have eternal life. This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we
ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
5. With that confidence every parent should pray for their child to hunger and thirst
after the righteousness of God.
E. Examine
1. Examine your own life. Are there things that need to be changed? Bad habits
that need to be addressed? Attitudes that need to be adjusted?
2. A powerful motivator for your child to change the direction of their life is for them
to see how God is working in your life.
CONCLUSION:
A. Monica was in an arranged marriage. She was a believer – he was not. She had
three children. One of them strayed away. For a time he lived with a woman to whom
he was not married. Monica went to a bishop who told her, “It is not possible that a
son of so many tears can resist.” She kept praying and kept pleading. Eventually, her
son repented. He became a leader in church of his time. His writings have become
known throughout the ages. His name was Augustine.
B. For parents of wayward children I want you to know that you have the love and
support of your church family as you continue to encourage and pray for your child to
return to God.
