Sermon Notes,
January 27, 2019 PM
Help For Hurting
Homes
Steve W. Reeves
INTROUCTION:
A. An
old farmer had a terrible crop. Funds were low and the bills were piling up
high. Finally, in desperation, the farmer decided his only solution was to rob a bank. He
bought an old rusty gun, got a bag for the money and wrote a notes that said, “Don’t
mess with me, this is a stick up.” As he entered the bank he was so nervous his hads
were shaking. He finally got up to the teller and handed her the gun while point the
bag at her saying, “Don’t stick with me, this is a mess up.”
1. Sometimes we all “mess up.”
2. Sometimes our families become messed up. It may be problems in our marriage. It
may be problems between parents and children or problems between siblings.
Every family experiences some bumps along the road of life.
B. There is no such thing as a family without hope. A marriage may seem to be destined
for divorce but it doesn’t have to happen. A child may seem to be so rebellious that
reconciliation is impossible but it can happen. How do I know this? The word of God
says, “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
C. How can you find help for a hurting home? You must come to the realization of three
fundamental principles.
I. THE DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE
A. I read about a man who bought a landfill. For years it had been the city dump. He
brought in dirt and bulldozers and covered up the refuse, leveled the land, planted
grass and trees and built a subdivision. Contractors built houses and developed
the most charming neighborhood you’ve ever seen. There were nice streets,
sidewalks, beautiful homes. Young families bought the houses and everything
seemed ideal. However, after a few years the streets began to buckle, sidewalks
cracked, homes creaked, foundations began to sink and the entire neighborhood
experienced serious structural problems. What was the issue? It was built on
garbage.
1. Do you know why so many homes are in crisis? It is because they are bring built
on the garbage of humanistic thinking rather than God’s design.
2. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who
build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.” B. hat is God’s design for marriage?
1. In Matthew 19 Jesus was asked a question about divorce.
a. Verse 3 says the Pharisees began questioning Him by asking, ““Is it lawful for
a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
b. During the century before Jesus was born there was a Jewish Rabbi named
Hillel who was viewed as one of the foremost scholars of Jewish law. He was
influential in writing the Mishna and Talmud which were commentaries on
Jewish law and traditions. There was a popular school named after Hillel.
Among his teaching was the view that a man could divorce his wife for
practically any reason. This view was disputed by another leading Rabbi
named Shammai, who taught that divorce could only occur in cases of
infidelity.
c. Who did Jesus support? His response was to say, “Let’s see what God says.
2. In verses 4-6 Jesus replied, “Have you not read that He who created them from
the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore
God has joined together, let no man separate.”
a. Does this sound radical compared with today’s morality?
b. One fellow said, “I was seeking an ideal that turned into an ordeal and now I
want a new deal.”
C. Jesus went back to Genesis 2:23-24 to recall God’s design for marriage and the
home. The best carpenter in the world cannot build a house without a design. God
has left nothing to chance. In His design there are three essential elements.
1. Leaving.
a. A man must leave father and mother.
1.) I am thankful God places babies within the security of their parents.
Babies, toddlers and children need the protection and guidance of their
parents. There comes a time, however, when those children leave father
and mother.
2.) As precious as God intends for the relationship between children and
parents to be, there is another relationship that is to take priority. It is the
relationship with your husband or wife.
3.) A lot of young marriages experience difficultly because children, parents
(or both) do not respect the principle of “leaving.” A young couple
sometimes experiences disagreement and one of them runs home to
momma. Sometimes parents can’t let go of their children and try to follow
them everywhere to keep them under control.
2. Cleave
a. This is a word that means “permanently glued” or welded. It is the idea of two
separate objects being inseparably joined together.
b. This is why Jesus said, “What God has joined together do not let man
separate.”
c. Why do some couples stay together over 70 years while others divorce after a
few years. Is it because one has had more trouble than the other? No. It is
because one has had more commitment than the other.
1.) Marriage cannot be based merely on romance, sex and happiness.
2.) It is based firtst and foremost on commitment.
c. I asked Tami, “Will you love me when Ii am old and ugly.” She said, “I do.”
3. Become.
a. The two will become one flesh.
b. Why does God want two to become one?
1.) Sexually – procreation.
2.) Socially – Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
3. ) Spiritually – The relationship between a husband and wife is the pattern of
the relationship between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5). There is no
sweeter communion than a husband and wife communing together with the
Lord Jesus.
II. THE DURABILITY OF MARRIAGE
A. We live in a time of broken commitments. This is especially true in marriage.
1. Jesus considered the marriage commitment to be binding.
2. He made only one allowance whereby a person might divorce their spouse and
marry another person. In Matthew 19– Mt. 19:9 He said, “And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman
commits adultery.”
3. Earlier, in Matthew’s account of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, ““It was
said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’;
32but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery.”
4. Why did God make this exception? He is the one who created the two to
become one flesh. When that oneness is violated it destroys trust. This doesn’t
mean a couple has to divorce when infidelity has occurred. The Old Testament
prophet Hosea had a wife named Gomer who became unfaithful. Hosea sought
with all of his might to regain her affections. God used this as an example of His
love for Israel.
B. What has happened in our culture is an endless cycle of broken homes. Broken
homes lead to broken people. Broken people lead to broken homes.
1. People who have been through a divorce will readily testify about the emotional
pain it causes.
2. Children of divorced parents will tell you of the pain it causes. A couple should
never say, “We are divorcing for the sake of the children.”
C. What creates durability in marriage?
1. Commitment. “Agape Love.”
2. It is not romance that sustains your marriage. It is your marriage that sustains
your romance.” .
3. Love is not feeling. It is a commitment. You cannot command a person to feel
something. Yet, Paul commanded husbands to “love your wife” in Ephesians
5:25, In Titus 2:14 older women were told to teach younger women to love
husbands. Romance is great and emotion is wonderful. Ultimately, it is
commitment that keeps us together.
III. THE DETERMINATION OF MARRIAGE
A. Studies show that people who divorce because they are “unhappy” are less likely
to find happiness later in life than unhappy couples who work through their
problems and remain married.
1. How do you answer someone who says, “I just want to be happy?”
2. God is concerned about more than temporary happiness. He is concerned about
eternal security.
B. As created beings with a free will we have a remarkable ability to make choices
and to change the direction of our lives. A woman consulted an attorney about a
divorce from her husband. The attorney agreed to arrange everything on one
stipulation. For one month the woman was to do everything possible to be nice to
her husband. When she came back to the attorney she has long since given up the
idea of divorce.
C. As determined as a person might be it is not always possible for a marriage to
remain intact. When divorce occurs we need to respond with love. Remember the
response of Jesus to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), “Neither do I
condemn you, go and sin no more.”
CONCLUSION:
A. M.F. “Mid” McKnight wrote a book entitled, Vestebule of Heaven. The home as
designed by God is a picture of His relationship with us. It is so important for our
families to remain strong and vibrant.
B. We are here to assist you and your family with any spiritual need you may have.
