Is
Your Family Hurting?
Steve W. Reeves
INTRODUCTION:
A. The
President of the United States is required by Article II Section 3 Clause
1 of the constitution to provide congress
with a “State of the Union” report. There are
no guidelines regarding the content of the
report. It typically consists of a report on
conditions in the country and lays out the
President’s legislative agenda. The
Constitution also does not require that the
report be given in a speech. In fact,
beginning with Thomas Jefferson and
throughout the 19th century the reports were
written. It wasn’t until 1913 that
President Wilson revived the practice of giving a
“State of the Union” speech to congress.
Occasionally, a president will still give his
report in written form.
1. My concern today is with the “State of
the American Family.” If the President were
required to report on the condition of
American families what would he say?
2. He would have to report that the
traditional two-parent family is declining as
divorce, remarriage and co-habitation
are increasing.
3. 40% of babies are born to single mothers.
4. According to the Pew Research
organization, “Parents today are raising their
children against a backdrop of
increasingly diverse and, for many, constantly
evolving family forms.”
5. What about the state of your family?
When we look at families in the Bible we see
the good, the bad and the ugly. If you
are concerned about the state of the
American family or if you are concerned
about the state of your family I want you to
turn to Genesis 37 today as we look at a
dysfunctional family used by God in a
mighty way.
B. In
the land of Canaan lived a man named Jacob, the gradson of Abraham. Jacob’s
entire life had been filled with deceit.
1. As a young man, with the encouragement
of his mother, he deceived his father to
receive the birthright instead of his
older twin Esau.
2. Later, when he went to find a wife he
fell in love with a woman named Rachel, for
whom he agreed to work seven years. On
the morning after the wedding he
realized he had been deceived by his
father-in-law, Laban, and had married Leah
instead. He was allowed to marry Rachel
but had to work for seven additional
years. The two sisters had an intense
rivalry. Leah was able to bear children while,
for a time, Rachel was unable to have a
child.
3. Eventually, Jacob became the father of
twelve boys.
a. Genesis 38 tells us about one of
these boys named Judah. His daughter-
in-law was Tamar whose husband had
died. Judah gave her to another son
and he died. Judah promised her to
another son when he was old enough but
never fulfilled the promise. Tamar
disguises herself as a prostitute and made
herself available to her
father-in-law so she could bear a child.
b. The most insightful story about this
dysfunctional family involves the firstborn son
of Rachel, named Joseph.
I. THE PROBLEMS OF A HURTING FAMILY
A. As we take a closer look at the story of
Joseph and his brothers we find some
serious issues.
1. The first of these was jealousy and
hatred.
a. In Genesis 37:2 seventeen year old Joseph
brought back a bad report about
his brothers to his father. Have
you ever heard siblings “tell” on each other?
b. In Genesis 37:3 we read that Jacob loved
Joseph more than all of his other
sons.
1.) He was the firstborn of Jacob’s
favorite wife, Rachel. He was also the son
of Jacob’s old age.
2.) To demonstrate this affection Jacob gave
Joseph a coat of many colors.
This only heightened the
growing rivalry among the sons. Verse 4 says that
his brothers “hated him and
could not speak to him on friendly terms.”
c. Adding fuel to this fire were two dreams
Joseph had.
1). In the first dream (Genesis 37:5-8),
Joseph and his brothers were binding
sheaves in the field. His sheaf
stood up while all of his brothers’ sheaves
bowed down to it. His brothers
were enraged and hated him even more.
2.). In the second dream (Genesis 37:9-11),
the sun, moon and stars bowed
down to Joseph. When he
told it to his father he asked, “Shall I, your
mother and brothers bow
down to you?” His brothers hated him but Jacob
kept the saying in mind.
d. All of this comes to a culmination when
Joseph went to visit his brothers while
they were tending the flocks at Dothan. The
brothers were so jealous they
were ready to kill Joseph and would have
done so if Reuben had not
interceded in his behalf. Eventually they put him in a pit and sold him
for
twenty pieces of silver to
Midianites who are on their way to Egypt.
2. Add to their jealousy and hatred the sin
of lying to their father.
a. Remember how Jacob’s life has been
filled with deception? Now we find the
biggest deception of all. His sons
took the many-colored coat, tore it and
dipped it in goats blood. They
took it to Jacob and said, “Examine it. Isn’t this
your son’s coat?”
b. They didn’t acknowledge Joseph as
their brother. Jacob was
so grieved he mourned and
refused to be comforted. Even then his sons
refused to tell the truth.
C. Whatever problems you may be
experiencing in your family I don’t think they could
rival what Jacob’s family endured. This
is not meant to minimize your hurt or pain
for it is real. I want you to see,
however, that all families experience times of turmoil
and trial.
D. There are three common misconceptions
about hurting families.
1. Hurting families are alone. Whenever
we hurt or our families hurt we often think
we are the only ones experiencing
that difficulty. If you are struggling with your
marriage you aren’t the only person
doing so. If you’re struggling with a moral
problem or a financial problem you
aren’t the only one struggling. If you are a
parent struggling with a child or a
child struggling with a parent you aren’t the
only one doing so. Satan wants us to
think no one else has ever traveled on the
road we’re traveling.
2. Hurting families are a result of bad
people. There is a difference between bad
decisions and bad people. All of us
suffer results of bad decisions. I have known
some very good Christians who have
dealt with serious family issues brought
about by poor decisions. This does
not mean they are a failure and they must not
be treated as such.
3. Hurt cannot be healed. We sometimes
forget the enormous blessings of grace,
redemption, forgiveness and
reconciliation.
II. THE STRATEGY OF A HURTING FAMILY
A. As Joseph experienced trials and turmoil
he exemplified several traits that are
essential for families in crisis.
1. Do not abandon your faith.
a. When sold to Potiphar Joseph was
tempted by Potiphar’s wife. How easy it
would have been for him to turn
against God. Instead, he said, “How then
could I do this great evil and sin
against God” (Genesis 39:9)?
b. When things become difficult in
life some people immediately turn against
God. Family problems are the
primary reason people stop attending church.
We must realize that in times of crisis
we need God and our church family
more than any other time.
2. Seek the will of God.
a. When Joseph was in prison there
were two men who had dreams, Pharoah’s
baker and chief cupbearer.
Joseph said, “do not interpretations belong to God”
(Genesis 40:8)?
b. When Joseph was called to
interpret Pharaoh’s dreams he replied, “It is not in
me; God will give Pharaoh a
favorable answer” (Genesis 41:6).
c. You need to stay close to your
Bible. Seek God in prayer. Maintain fellowship
with God’s people and keep your
head and your heart open to the things God
is teaching you. Our greatest
growth comes through struggle.
3. Do not seek revenge.
a. Eventually, after interpreting
Pharaoh’s dreams, Joseph was appointed to the
second highest position in the
land. He implemented a plan to store grain in
preparation for the upcoming
famine. It was Egypt’s supply of grain that
eventually brought Joseph’s
brothers to appear before him. They did not
recognize him. How easy it would
have been for Joseph to take revenge on
his brothers.
b. Have you ever seen a family where
people kept trying to “even the score?”
What a hopeless task! Willard
Tate in his book, Learning to Love, said the
problem with settling the score
is we never end in a tie.
4. Practice forgiveness.
a. One of the greatest scenes in the
Bible is found in Genesis 45 where Joseph
tells his brothers, “I am
Joseph.” He went on to tell them that
God was the one
who brought him to Egypt. There
does not appear to be any animosity or spirit
of revenge. Finally he kisses
them and asks them to go home and bring Jacob
back to Egypt for the duration
of the famine.
b. Forgiveness is not easy –
particularly in a family context.
1.) When God commands
forgiveness His is not telling us to validate the
behavior of another person.
2. Forgiveness does not mean
that we are able to forget the wrong that we
have suffered. Only God can
do this.
3. Forgiveness is a conscious,
deliberate choice to turn your complaint over to
God and let him deal with it.
B. The story of Joseph teaches us to look
at the big picture.
1. In Genesis 50:15-19 following the
death and burial of Jacob, Joseph’s brothers
were afraid that he might take
revenge on them. They sent a messenger saying
that Jacob, before his death, had
asked that Joseph forgive the brothers for they
had done him wrong. Joseph replied
in verse 19 – “Do not be afraid, for am I in
God’s place? 20 As for
you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good
in order to bring about this present
result, to preserve many people alive.”
2. It is important to see the “big
picture.” Sometimes we get so caught up in right
now we fail to see the larger
context of life. Harry and Kate Benson are British
marriage researchers who are
releasing a new book, What Mums Want and
Dads Need to Know, in April.
In their research they found that when unhappy
people divorce the majority of them
remain unhappy. When they stay married the
majority later report that the
unhappiness passed and they became happy. They
conclude that much of our
unhappiness is temporary. We need to see the big
picture.
CONCLUSION:
A.
Have you ever thought of the similarities between Joseph and Jesus?
1. God used Joseph – his father’s favorite
son - to deliver his family.
2. God used Jesus – his Father’s only
begotten son - to deliver your family.
3. He used Joseph – a suffering son who is
exalted to save his people.
4. He uses Jesus – a suffering servant who
is now exalted – to save us.
B.
Grace, redemption, love, salvation, reconciliation – all of these are needed in
hurting
families like yours and mine. All of these
are needed in broken lives like yours and
mine. God stands ready to welcome you with
His love today. Why not put Christ on in
baptism if you’ve never done so? Why not
come home if you’ve wandered away. He
loves you so! Come home.
